A musician who's spent his entire life trying to get a record deal is feeling extremely depressed. He's been turned-down by every record company he's ever contacted. No one seems to recognize his unique genius.

So, he decides to top himself, and comes up with an ingenious plan to get back at all the record companies who've rejected him all of his life.

He books time at a recording studio, and instructs the engineer to record everything he says, and every sound he hears, and then copy it all onto 500 CDs, and send one to every record company executive
on the list that he hands the engineer.

He walks into the vocal booth; the red light is on, and he begins....

"Alright, listen up. This is a message for all you sycophantic, talentless, stupid record company ass-holes who've ignored me for all these years. I've dedicated my life to writing and performing beautiful, emotive, soul-touching music, and all you bastards do is discard my tapes and sign these horrible, no-talent, ridiculous, stupid bands, and these filthy, dirty rappers!

Well, you bunch of morons; you dumb pricks, I've taken all I can of your puerile, shallow industry, and it's YOU who've driven me to this! Goodbye, you HEARTLESS murderers of art!"

With that, he places a gun to his head and blows his brains out.

The sound engineer looks up from the console, hits the talkback button, and says, "Okay. That's fine. I've got a good level. Let's go for one...."

This is why I collect a deposit up front